quack doctor

I am blessed! Thank You Lord!

2012-01-25T09:14:00.001+08:00

thank you GOD!!!

2012-01-17T06:44:00.000+08:00

Compassion

2011-11-17T11:18:00.009+08:00

com·pas·sion [kuhm-pash-uhn]

noun

1. a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

why can't I find it in my heart to be compassionate to you, to understand what you are going through? I feel for those you would leave behind and would do everything in my power to be with them and see them through when that time comes. But why can't I feel that for you? I'm so sorry.

Oh God, please give me the gift of compassion before its too late. Amen.

Best of the best

2011-04-22T16:59:00.001+08:00

musings

2011-04-18T13:17:00.005+08:00

i have heard this song countless of times. it used to be a part of noel cabangon's repertoir in 70s bistro. in one of our dates there, an ex commented this song fits me to which i reacted violently. bakit?!? so although i like the song, i don't like the memory it evokes.

one thing for sure, the title fits my recurrent fascination with hello kitty. but then again, when i listened closely to the lyrics... hindi rin pala.

and i still don't get the ex's comment.

still friends after more than 25 years

2011-04-02T16:41:00.001+08:00

the Boss

2011-01-21T11:01:00.006+08:00

my newphews and nieces love to play inside my room whenever they visit. by the time they were done, my bed had lost its cover, the pillows were on the floor. oh and the candy wrappers, they would be everywhere! it's their playland. one niece, P, would open my closet and look for an item she could have. it's usually a long-forgotten small container, a mirror, and at one time, a cotton bud container which happened to be pink. we call her the junk collector.

one time, my nephews L, K and my niece P were again running inside my room. i decided i had to lay the ground rules if i wanted to keep my room intact.

no eating inside my room, or any other room.
no jumping on bed (yeah, i'm KJ, big time!).
and the most important rule, i'm the BOSS in my room.

to this, they all agreed and they resumed playing, or so i thought. suddenly K came up to me and asked, Ninang, is the boss like God?

now how do i answer that?

2011-01-17T21:14:00.002+08:00

the story of my life :(

makeover

2010-12-30T10:28:00.003+08:00

while having dinner last night, my 5-year old nephew asked me a question.

K: Ninang, who's older, my dad or you?
Me: What do you think?
K: I think you're older coz you look older.
Me: speechless

while still trying to formulate a response, i can hear my niece explaining to his brother that i'm the youngest.

i need a makeover!!!

just because

2010-12-02T15:00:00.009+08:00

as i was thinking about my childhood a few months back, i realized sesame street was a big part of it, along with hello kitty, of course. that started me on my quest to look for the episode when the show talked about death. why search for that particular episode? i have no idea. i could remember how they tried to explain death to big bird and i thought they made a good job. it wasn't an easy search, but i eventually found a site where i could watch it again...and reminisce.

Sesame Street - I'm Gonna Miss You, Mr. Hooper!
Uploaded by Wrestlegameshow. - News videos from around the world.

fast-forward to present day. a very important member of my family was recently diagnosed with a terminal illness. and now i find myself watching the episode again if only to give me insight on how to explain (if given the task) to two very smart kids that their mother might not make it to their next birthday. how i wish that when i found the video a few months ago, i showed it to them too.

2010-10-23T08:13:00.002+08:00

it's so hard to have a perfect sister. i wish i am one myself.

passion

2010-09-12T23:42:00.000+08:00

for years, i've been hammering about finding something to be passionate about. but not anymore. i found my passion and it's not a guy...it's baking! eversince i finished my residency training early this year, i've been spending more time in the kitchen. and i'm loving every minute of it.

i've made pies, cookies, brownies, cheesecakes, and recently, cupcakes. my family is getting bigger since i've been feeding them my experiments...err...creations every sunday. although not all were successful, still i'm happy with the results considering that i had no formal training in baking except for the home economics subject i had in highschool.

my mom wants me to enroll in a baking class, still i refuse to do it. i think part of the satisfaction i'm getting from baking is trying to do something without really knowing if it would work, but in the end, would turn out scrumptious (the word my 5 year-old nephew used to describe the cupcakes).

of clouds, love and life

2010-08-15T23:05:00.005+08:00

when i moved to blogspot, i asked duke to place a song on my blog. for many years, this was the song heard while reading my blog. i recently found out that it was no longer playing and a search in you tube gave me many versions of my favorite song.

this was performed in 1970 by the composer, joni mitchell.

another version but 30 years later, still by joni mitchell.

in my 30+ years, i have looked at clouds, love and life from both sides. and i will continue looking at them from both sides.

eclipse

2010-07-01T22:31:00.002+08:00

yesterday at work (no holiday for me), one of the clinic staff asked if i wanted to join them in watching the eclipse that night in gateway. i declined since i had some things to do.

today at work, our secretary and one of the residents were talking about seeing eclipse yesterday. i was obviously eavesdropping so they included me in the conversation...

secretary: ang daming tao sa eclipse kahapon.

me: (thought bubble) eclipse nanaman? mukhang uso manuod ng eclipse...

resident: san ba kayo?

secretary: nagpunta kami sa greenbelt and glorietta. ang dami tao!

resident: kaw doc kero, napanuod mo?

me (feeling nakikiuso): ano ba yon, lunar or solar eclipse?

then suddenly, they both burst out laughing! and i was like...what's so funny?!

i feel so old...

hbo

2010-04-19T14:34:00.003+08:00

if i watch hbo the whole day, i end up crying the whole day. so i just might as well update my "almost forgotten" blog.

update # 1: finally, i've finished my 4-yr residency training program which leads me to...

update # 2: as if i haven't gotten sick and tired of training, i just started another 1-yr subspecialty training. i think that makes me a professional student but minus the allowance. poor me. *sniff*

update # 3: my age is finally catching up with me. i had some blood works done last week when my bipedal edema wouldn't let up. and the result? i failed in almost all of the tests done! i have slightly elevated uric acid, cholesterol, sgpt and sgot levels...the key word being "slightly". after years of teasing/lecturing my brother and my mom, i'm in the same league with them. that's what you call karma! on the bright side, my sugar level is still within normal. i could still eat my chocolates!

update # 4: update # 3 is brought upon my (surprise, surprise) weight gain. i know i should be losing all these excess pounds but like what every "horizontally challenged" person would say, the mind is willing but the flesh is weak. or is it the other way around?!

update # 5: i still find blogging a better way to express myself than FB. the stuff here are from my inner most thoughts while the stuff there are just stuff. i know i'm hooked to their games but blogging is still the best. it's just that with all the games i play on FB, i don't have the time to update. and for that, i don't think the handful of people who used to read my blog is still there. but if you are, thank you.

update # 6: remember my snowglobe collection? i now have three!!!

why

2009-10-25T21:40:00.003+08:00

how come everybody around me is losing weight while i'm going in the opposite direction?

why???

wag na talaga sana

2009-03-17T23:54:00.003+08:00

i just have to post this again after i received a call.

anakngkabayo nagparamdam ka nanaman. bakit ba di ka na lang manahimik sa sulok mo gaya ng pananahimik ko sa sulok ko. di naman ata mahirap gawin yon. pinili mo ang pinili mo. wala ng bawian. desisyon mo, sana mapanindigan mo.

kung kinakain ka ng konsensya mo, wag na, sayang lang. pero kung makakatulong ito kahit papaano, ayos lang ako. isa pa, matagal na panahon na yon. tumanda ka na, tumanda na ko at nagtanda tayo. kung hihilingin mong maging magkaibigan tayo uli, sana wag na lang. tutal masaya na naman tayo sa buhay natin.

ano man ang dahilan mo para magparamdam muli, tingin ko tama na yung mabuhay tayo sa mga sarili nating mundo.

i'm afraid, my sentiments are still the same.

guilty

2009-02-19T21:48:00.004+08:00

i'm guilty of not visiting my own blog for the past few weeks but checks my facebook everyday.

i'm guilty of not updating this blog as often as i should.

i'm guilty of not reading atticus' blog and just found out that she moved to the other station which i'm not a fan of. sorry atticus.

i'm guilty of going to work with the worst hangover in my life and passing it off as a migraine attack.

i'm guilty. but i'm happy!

now i have two

2009-01-01T18:00:00.006+08:00

in a previous post, i was looking for a hello kitty snowball/ snow globe to add to my "collection". in one of my trips to the mall before christmas, i found the snow globe in gift gate. there were two types available but i had second thoughts of buying because they were out of my budget and left the store empty-handed.

on my second trip to the store, the other globe was already out of stock and the one on display was the last piece. all second thoughts flew away and i went home with empty wallet.

i think i'm going through my second childhood, looking for things which used to make me happy when i was a child. and if i'm going through my second childhood, that also means, i'm growing old...not!

i just like to remember those days when everything is simple. and the snow globe collection and hello kitty are my links to those days.

happy new year to everyone. may you have your own snow globe to help you get through the not so simple days.

bunker hill bunny

2008-10-06T20:26:00.002+08:00

here's another favorite cartoon i chanced upon in cartoon network a few days ago. they don't make cartoons like this anymore. and i still cannot appreciate those anime cartoons... i guess that shows my age bracket.

my favorite line in this cartoon..."if you can't beat them, join them."

is this heaven?

2008-09-08T17:43:00.001+08:00

after one flight cancellation and endless hours waiting at the old domestic airport, my trip to basco, batanes via asian spirit (a.k.a. !%$&@%$*) airlines, finally pushed through. from 4-days & 3 nights vacation, i was down to 3 days & 2 nights because of the cancelled flight.

thank God, it was the only setback in my vacation.

will let the pictures talk...

i guess this is what you call heaven on earth.

gimme gimme gimme

2008-08-19T21:20:00.005+08:00

imagine going inside the bathroom and while you're sitting in the throne, you see this at the corner of your eye. it was really creepy when i saw this statue inside the common bathroom in cafe rallos.

i've been looking for this cartoon for a long time now. one of my favorites...

pizza

2008-07-13T16:54:00.005+08:00

i have a sudden craving for pizza. a thin crust pizza. i called up shakey's delivery and they said i have to wait for an hour. aarrggghhh.

i remember during my recent vacation to palawan, a friend recommended that we eat at mc coy's. it's a local pizza place and i must say, i wasn't disappointed. in fact, i was so happy with their thin-crust pizza, B and i went back the next day instead of trying out some other place. their pizza was at par with shakey's but their pasta is so-so.

i'm so hungry i could almost taste it. and i still have to wait for half an hour.

iya

2008-06-21T16:37:00.001+08:00

my youngest niece, angela, has no nickname. although a few weeks after her birth, somebody suggested her nick to be iya (short for iyakin), her dad, my eldest brother, didn't like it.

who would have thought this baby was born preterm? her mom has APAS so she had to be delivered earlier than usual. morbidity and mortality rate is higher for mother and baby if babies with APAS moms were delivered on term. in fact, her mom had a very complicated CS when angela was born that her uterus had to be removed. so no more baby brother or sister for her, just one kuya and ate.

right now, her mom is starting to make plans for her 1st birthday on september. although i wanted her to have a hello kitty party, but nobody else wanted it. i think they're leaning on a tinkerbell or fairy theme.

since i volunteered to buy the cake, i'm thinking of getting a hello kitty cake...sa akin pa rin ang huling halakhak!

new book

2008-06-06T08:10:00.006+08:00

a new book from david sedaris! can't wait to get hold of one. but i still have to check if i can afford the hardcover or if i have to wait for the paperback edition. but the paperbacks are usually released after a year. mahirap maging mahirap.

i hope the book would be worth it. i loved his other books. they're great reads when you're feeling low and need a good laugh.

dymo

2008-05-20T22:20:00.000+08:00

back in the 80s, my mom brought home a myna bird. it was still a baby then and my mom had to feed it (i don't know if it's a male or a female or do birds have sex at all) coz it couldn't feed by itself. my brother christened it dymo, after the label maker.

somebody told us that if taught, dymo could talk and so everybody did their part talking to him (i think he's a male). everybody was teaching him to say good morning, hello and of course our names. others taught him to say pangit. i tried teaching him to whistle the sexy whistle.

one afternoon, less than a year after we got dymo, as my dad was calling me (i think he was angry at me), my sister heard someone else shouting. dymo, at that time, uttered his very first word...and it was my name! maybe because my name was the most repeatedly called in the house for errands, reprimands and everything, it was the name he always heard.

soon enough, he started saying good morning, kamusta ka, kumain ka na, hello (when the phone rings) and of course, pangit! he could bark too with the dogs. and when he would see me, he would whistle ;-)

for years, he was our entertainer, conversation piece, pacifier for crying babies and so much more. a lot of visitors who met dymo wanted to take him home. some kids begged or threw tantrums just to bring him home. almost all my friends from grade school to med school met dymo and one of the first things they would ask after not seeing them for a long time would be dymo.

a year before my dad died, in 2003, dymo left us. he was 18 years old, i think. i was in my post-grad internship and was living in the dorm at the time. one weekend i was home, i saw a small wooden cross in our garden. i asked why it was there. my sister told me that dymo had died and my dad buried him there. she said she forgot to tell me. it was a very sad day.

nobody would whistle at me anymore.

i saw the myna birds in crocodile farm in palawan and kinda felt nostalgic.

same time...

2008-04-16T20:49:00.003+08:00

i suddenly remembered this song which reminded me of the movie. i tried to look for the movie so i could download it. instead, i found this which is good enough.

but i'm still looking for the full length movie.

snowball

2008-03-04T22:04:00.000+08:00

Cool Graphics @ Graphics99.org

for a while now, i've been planning to start my own snowball collection. so far, i have one. but if i include this hello kitty snowball picture, that would make it two! still a long way to go before i could call it a collection.

i wonder where i could get a real hello kitty snowball...

as if we're not sick and tired of looking at x-rays, day in and day out, VVV and i x-rayed ourselves, courtesy of a mac book in the power mac store.

i wonder when i could have my own mac book...

ash wednesday

2008-02-06T23:30:00.000+08:00

i didn't know that today is ash wednesday until some crazy friends called me up to greet me a happy birthday. although my birthday is still a couple of months away, my friends have marked every ash wednesday as my special day since i've got a birthmark on my forehead.

today is the only day of the year that i'm not so unique. on this day, i just look like the rest...with a black mark on the forehead. although mine isn't shaped like a cross, it's like a small thumb mark right in the middle.

the other 364 days of the year is another story. i get to hear people asking one another if it's ash wednesday when they see me. but some do ask me directly and my answer would vary from "it's not wednesday today." or "the lenten season has just finished." or "no, it's not." do i get irritated? not really coz i've gotten used to it. and some people are not catholics so they didn't know better. for the catholics...well...

a couple of surgeons have tried to convince me to have my birthmark removed. they have listed all my options or ways they would remove it without leaving a scar. one even volunteered his plastic surgeon son to do it and he would pay for the procedure. another told me that mine is a pre-cancerous nevus so i have to remove it. a part of me wants to but there's a bigger part of me that wants to remain different. it's one of those things that makes me, ME.

but for today, at least for most of the day, i was just like everybody. not until i went to the hospital chapel to have my forehead marked with ash and the priest strategically placed the cross below my birthmark! i was unique all over again.

greetings

2007-12-25T22:29:00.000+08:00

A BLESSED CHRISTMAS TO

EVERYONE!!!

you hold in your hands...

2007-10-07T20:04:00.000+08:00

taken from the back label of san mig light

it's that time of the year again...but i don't think i'd be one of the crowd. my drinking buddies all went AWOL. my tomador college friends who introduced me to this drink are all in the US. vna is in the US too, for the whole month of october. frd is busy with her new found passion. kt is not a beer drinker. as for me, i no longer enjoy drinking as i used to.

haay, i feel so old...

thingamajig

2007-10-06T00:35:00.000+08:00

i got my very first ipod a couple of days ago in the power mac store in greenbelt. since i'm a newbie in this type of thingamajig and i wanted to be sure it was really working, i asked one of the personnel to try it for me before bringing it home.

rather than listening to the guy's instructions, my friend J and i horsed around with their laptop and accomplished these instead!

how's my new gadget now? it's still in the box and have yet to try it since i brought it home. i'm still thinking of a name for it. any suggestions?

only in the...3

2007-09-01T20:14:00.000+08:00

where else do you hear radio stations playing christmas songs as early as the 1st of september?

earlier, while i was in a cab on my way home, i heard that mushy christmas song by martin nievera. very soon, i will be hearing george michael's song, last christmas, which i'm sure you've noticed, is not a christmas song!

i hate smart

2007-08-04T16:43:00.000+08:00

i used to say "i hate smart" for a personal reason before...but now, i really hate smart.

last month, i've finally decided to avail of the Smart Bro broadband service. my friend, J, has been teasing me for a while because, according to him, i am the only one he knows who still uses dial-up. applying for a connection was very easy, in fact, 2 days after i applied online, somebody contacted me that i could already pay so that somebody could come over to my house and fix the connection.

that's when the trouble began. a month after i paid for the subscription, i still didn't have an internet connection. though somebody did come a week after i paid, the connection didn't last for a day. and the vicious cycle started: somebody coming over to fix the antenna, then after a day, there would be no connection. at first, i was very patient about it, but after two weeks, i became homicidal. i made friends with the company's customer service representatives. i called them almost everyday, to no avail. they used the same lines when i asked what was wrong. they would either say, they're still coordinating with the concerned department or that a feedback from the contractors were not yet in.

i think i've been stood up by the contractors at least three times. the schedulers from Smart said it was the contractor's fault. however, the contractor would tell me that they didn't receive a report that something was wrong with my connection. i asked if i could terminate my contract since i wasn't able to use it and technically, the contract hasn't started yet, they said i have to pay the remaining 11 months of the contract. that's bullsh*t!

when i couldn't take it anymore, i finally wrote a letter to their customer care last week. here's an excerpt:

I am tired of calling your hotline and hearing your customer representatives telling me the same thing over and over again. I wasn't able to get the names of the customer representative I talked to but if you check your records, i think they would be there, as well as all the calls I made and my complaints. I think I have been patient enough and frankly, my patience is running out. In my line of work, time is very important and I've been wasting my time calling your hotline for nothing. Plus, I'm not getting my money's worth.

I don't know where the problem lies but your clients are not happy with your service. Smart is a very big company and everyday, I see your advertisements everywhere. However, you are falling short to the expectations of your clients. I've talked to other people who use Smart Bro and I found out that mine isn't an isolated case. Please look into this matter.

yesterday, the contractor came to my house and changed the antenna. my internet connection is working now. for how long? that remains to be seen.

universal law

2007-07-13T23:57:00.000+08:00

a friend forwarded this email to me and everything makes sense...

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, you boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs and Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpeting.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

thank You

2007-06-30T23:50:00.000+08:00

i almost ignored her complaints. while i was waiting for my mom to pick me up from the hospital, she called me up. she said she would like to have her blood pressure taken coz she could feel her heart beating like a drum.

i almost told her i would get her blood pressure when we get home. i really wanted to go home early that day because i wanna try a new game in my pc. if i did just that, i think i would never have forgiven myself.

when my mom arrived in the hospital, we went to the ER so i could borrow a BP apparatus and a stethoscope since i don't have mine with me (radiologists don't really need those things). her BP was 120/80 mmHg which was normal, considering her age, weight and other co-morbidities. that was her usual BP, by the way. then i auscultated her heart. that's when i realized my mom wasn't just over-acting. her heart beat was really fast and the rhythm was irregular.

i looked for an IM resident in the ER and asked him if he could check on my mom since i couldn't just order an ECG there. the ER wasn't my territory. on ECG, my mom's heart rate was in the 150s which was way above normal. there were also some irregularities, i.e. premature ventricular contractions (PVCs). considering my mom's medical history, it was possible that she was having a heart attack at that time.

a cardiac monitor was immediately attached to her, they inserted an IV line and gave her medications to slow down her heart and prevent progression of her condition. a work up was done to totally rule out a heart attack and determine the cause of the SVT and PVCs.

thank God her cardiac enzymes were normal. the only thing that was abnormal was her magnesium level. it was below normal which could have caused the PVCs. just the same, they kept her in the hospital, corrected the deficiency, adjusted her maintenance medications and made sure it wouldn't happen again...knock on wood.

during that time, i kept thinking, what if i insisted on going home? what if it was really an MI? what if? then i realized, the what ifs were not important. i made the right decision. what prompted me to do that is, i think, Divine Providence.

thank You.

clean fun

2007-06-21T22:30:00.000+08:00

during a recent visit to boracay, B and i savored every second of our very short vacation leave from our respective jobs. from a party of four in the planning stage, only the two of us pushed through with the trip. and fun we had...GOOD CLEAN FUN! (i think i have to emphasize that, lest some people start imagining things.)

we didn't stay in the posh resorts in station 1 but opted to stay in the less expensive resorts in station 2-3. we tried to do everything our budget would allow, from island hopping to sailing. and when we got tired of the beach scene, we started to explore the island, this time, from the inside.

though i've been to boracay before, it was the first time that i went beyond the usual fare. we hailed a tricycle to take us to mt. luho, which was a great spot. at one point, during the climb, the manong asked us to hike a few meters coz his tricycle was having a hard time climbing. it didn't matter though, coz the view from the top was worth it. we also went to the butterfly farm, puka beach, etc. we even went to the dead forest. it was dead. period.

one of the highlights of the entire vacation was the happy hour, i.e, buy 1 take 1 alcoholic beverage. we tried to take advantage of it by starting at around 5 pm, but only after we were finished with the isaw rounds. and by 9 pm, which is the end of happy hour in some of the bars, i would be a little intoxicated. so by 10 pm, i would be snoring away! that, for me, is plain simple fun!

my next stop...batanes!

question # 2

2007-06-16T22:42:00.000+08:00

got this from grey's anatomy ...

if you knew it's your last day on earth, what would you do?

definitely, i wouldn't go to work.

and if it's a wednesday, hear noel cabangon sing for the last time.

other than that, say goodbye to family, friends and even enemies.

that's it for now.

bahala na...

2007-04-07T14:55:00.000+08:00

ang sarap ng buhay!!! i'm on vacation from friday to monday with nothing to do and with no definite plans. i could play the sims2, diner dash, etc. till kingdom come...well, till monday, at least. what kept me going for the last few weeks was the thought of this long holiday. i refrained from getting "sick" and skipping work.

haay. i know i should be remembering His sacrifice. I do. but in between, or most of my time, i'm just gloating the fact that i don't have to go to work until tuesday. so now, i'm blogging again courtesy of my ate's pc. hoping that friends still visit my blog after a month's absence.

last march 1, i officially started my 2nd year of training. hooray!!! two more years to go! i'll be finished by 2010, gray hair and all. wow. for those who has an inkling on my age, don't do the math anymore. =)

after months of whining, i've decided to finish this training, happy or not. i've realized (i.e., somebody pointed out to me) that what i feel is not important. what's important is i finish what i started. life is hard these days and my mom is not getting any younger. and so, i'm staying...unless, of course, i win the lotto jackpot.

by 2011, i hope to start my career. i'm not going into subspecialty coz that would take another 2 to 3 years. i don't think i'd like to endure that anymore. no way!

as i always say, bahala na si batman!

fire scare

2007-02-05T20:50:00.000+08:00

a few days after christmas, my mom called me up at work telling me she was on her way home. it was around lunchtime and my mom doesn't get off from work till 5 pm. she then told me that a fire broke out near our place. from her description, the fire was about 2 to 3 houses from ours! i didn't waste another second and went home with her.

it was a long ride home. my mom and i tried to amuse each other with stories and just about anything. but from afar, we could see a big black smoke and couldn't help but think it might already be our house burning. stuff like burning houses, i only read about in the papers or see on tv, but never imagined it could happen to us.

the house we're living in was built way before i was born. my parents built it when they were just starting a family. it's not big but it was enough for us. it was built to last a long time, sans fire or maybe a really major earthquake. if our house was destroyed, it was as if another memory of my dad was being erased.

when we finally got to our place, our street was filled with fire trucks. thank God, the fire was contained on the warehouse where it started. and it wasn't 3 houses from ours, which was what our maid earlier reported, but instead it was around 10 houses or more. still, we were very lucky. if it happened on a windy day or if the chinese volunteers didn't arrive on time, my mom and i would have had a homeless new year.

pinagpapala pa rin talaga kami. =)

paputok

2007-01-19T21:00:00.000+08:00

i was in mall of asia last saturday for the last day of the pyrolympics. i was bullied into going. my friends said it would be their last chance to see the show cause they're leaving for the states in the next couple of months. it was an emotional blackmail and obviously, it worked.

there were so many people. and that was one of the reasons i didn't want to go there. if the terrorists really wanted to wreak havoc, they should have done it there that night. my golly, the last time i saw that big a crowd was, hmmm... maybe edsa 2 or when the pope was last here.

when we went to the restaurant where my friend reserved a table for us, we were told that the reservation she made was for friday night! *#&$^%! when i heard it, i saw red! nobody would admit who made the mistake. we were sure it wasn't my friend coz all of us weren't available on friday night. but the manager/owner wouldn't admit that they made a mistake either. on the other hand, they couldn't afford to displease their customers so a compromise was done. if the people in one of the reserved tables wouldn't arrive on time, he would give their table to us. they were caught in traffic so we got the table.

oh yeah, the traffic. we didn't have a car so we walked from the mall of asia to who-knows-where, along with the thousands who decided to go home at the same time we did...and that was after the show. i already knew it was gonna be a long walk to where we could get a cab but i didn't expect to still be waiting for a ride at 1 in the morning. kainis talaga!

the fireworks were great. i think it was better than last year. the crowd was very enthusiastic and all were in awe. i really enjoyed the show but to be honest, it wasn't worth the hassle we went through just to see it.

i went there only because it could be the last time we would be together. but next year, friends or no friends, i wouldn't set foot in that area for the pyrolympics! no way!

greetings

2006-12-25T20:21:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

blue christmas

2006-11-27T21:18:00.000+08:00

i've noticed that the days are getting shorter lately. by the time i get out of work it's already dark or near dark and it's not even 6 pm yet. the radio stations and the malls are all playing christmas songs endlessly. and that song by george michael, which is not really a christmas song but has christmas in its title, can be heard over and over again.

C, our driver/decorator/landscape-artist/etc. has started decorating our house for christmas. he eagerly went to divisoria a couple of weeks ago to buy the decors and lights which he would use. he has already finished decorating our christmas tree. and for this year's theme, it's a blue christmas...i swear, i have nothing to do with it. he said he's sick and tired of the red and green decors so he opted for blue.

right now, he's concentrating on the christmas decors outside the house. it's going to be a difficult task coz he's gonna change the lights on our mango tree in front of our house. i just hope he finishes before christmas is over.

question # 1

2006-11-05T18:20:00.000+08:00

what does one do when one doesn't have anything to do that one feels worthwhile?

oktoberfest

2006-10-21T20:10:00.000+08:00

when i woke up this morning with a big headache, i swore off beer...again. every cell in my body was clamoring for sleep and a painkiller. but i had no choice, i had to go to work. and so i got up, but not before swearing off that yellow, foamy liquid again.

i knew going out on a weeknight with friends and drinking more than i normally do was not a smart thing to do. but what could i do? we were having a good time, laughing, gossiping and reminiscing. a few secrets were let out but we didn't care. i'm sure nobody would remember much about them anyway.

our own version of oktoberfest started out after K's wedding a few weeks ago. that night, i rediscovered the joy of alcohol-induced laughter (walang sense na tawanan) which i thought i had already outgrown. that night, i also rediscovered how good beer tasted, especially when fresh!

but for now, i'm off beer...until the next night out. as much as i love the taste of it, i've learned my lesson. no more drinking more than my limit. and if i do, i have to be sure i have no work the next day. that's my final resolve unless i find a quick cure for hangover. ;-)

i'm it

2006-10-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

i recently found out i've been tagged by tani. so here's how it goes...

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your LiveJournal/blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

i've been enjoying these songs for a long time now. most of them are the ones i used to request/hear from noel c. during wednesday nights at 70s bistro/conspiracy cafe. these days, i only get to hear them in my pc.

1. return to pooh corner... kenny loggins... my brother gave me tickets to his concert a long time ago. i had no idea who he was then.

2. blackbird... the beatles... i really dunno why i like this song, i just do.

3. awit ng barkada... apo... i grew up hearing their songs.

4. here, there and everywhere... the beatles... i guess that makes me a fan...sorta.

5. both sides now... joni mitchell... it's the song you hear in this blog.

6. fields of gold... sting... i love sting. period.

7. if i keep my heart out of sight... james taylor... who doesn't like this guy?

bitin! i could go on and on... obviously, i'm not into new songs. maybe when the new songs become old ones, i'd appreciate them more.

i'm not tagging anyone coz i'm pretty sure everyone has been tagged. but if you haven't been tagged, i just did.

2006-09-25T21:26:00.000+08:00

a few months back, i thought i made the right decision. i'm not so sure now. once again, i'm in that stage of finding out what i really want to do.

should i stay where i am now or move on?

i like

2006-08-26T19:55:00.000+08:00

i'd like to take a break. i'd like to quit. i'd like to go to the beach. i'd like to go to sagada. i'd like to go to europe. i'd like to sleep all day. i'd like to laugh like there's no tomorrow. i like, i like, i like.

but i can't.

:(

2006-08-05T23:17:00.000+08:00

i've become a once-a-month-blogger. down from a once-a-week-blogger, while i was addicted to the sims, to this sorry sad state. although i do try to update this blog everytime i go online, my mind doesn't seem to work with me. and i end up with this...

the lungs are clear.
the heart is normal in size and configuration

...blahblah...

those are the words that usually occupy my mind and write in a piece of paper at work. i've lost my ability to tell a story complete with long descriptions and flowery statements. all i can describe now is how tuberculosis looks like in an xray.

i think my days as a blogger are ending.

panalo pa rin!

2006-07-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

i just got home from watching the pba game, between the san miguel beermen and the red bull barakos in cuneta astrodome. the team i was rooting for, which was san miguel beer, lost by 2 points. they trailed the whole time only to tie the game with only 3 seconds left. but luck was with the other team coz with less than 1 second to go, they managed to shoot the basket! and so, my friend R and i went out of the stadium a little deflated. our other companions weren't really smb fans so they didn't share our feelings.

as if the loss wasn't enough, when we got to M's car, it wouldn't start! he must have left his lights on so the car's battery was discharged. may mas mamalas pa ba don?! R & i went to the nearest gasoline station and to a vulcanizing shop but they were no help. we needed a jumpstart cable (or is it jumper?) but we couldn't find one. there we were, 3 girls and 1 guy, at the parking lot of cuneta with no help in sight. we even asked the policeman for help but as always, wala silang maitulong!

as our last resort, i called on my cousin who was smb's former team manager and the one who provided us the tickets. i was a little hesitant coz his team just lost and everything, but given the circumstances, i had no choice. good thing, he was still in the area and went to where we were. he found somebody who had a cable too.

luck started to come in. it turned out, the car beside us is owned by kiko adriano, an smb player. he volunteered to have his car's battery to be connected with M's car. he even helped in pushing the car with the other members of the team's technical staff. it was a team effort to make M's car run and it paid off. they may have lost the game but they went home winners in my eyes.

i overheard an usi say, "natalo na, nagtulak pa!"

the BIG Binondo Food Wok!

2006-06-19T22:36:00.000+08:00

After months of trying to find the right schedule and the right company, I was finally able to join ivan dy’s “the BIG Binondo Food Wok!” last june 12. To borrow ivan’s term, it was really a power walk which started in binondo church at 1 pm and ended in the same church at 6 pm. And it was all worth it.

I’m not a Chinoy nor do I live near the area so I haven’t had the chance to explore the binondo area before the walk, well, except for occasional trips to nearby divisoria. So, on that day, i was literally a tourist in my own country, as we walked along Ongpin and Salazar streets…the only streets I could remember.

Good thing my former roomy, A, joined the tour too coz she was as eager as I was. On second thought, she was a little more eager than I was. In fact, more than once, we were left behind by the group coz she was busy taking pictures.

Since it was a food walk, we ate at around 5 different places and sampled different kinds of authentic Chinese food, from rice to dumplings to fried siopaos and a lot more. That was the main reason I became interested with the tour in the first place. Ivan promised that whatever calories we would get from the food would be burned by the time we finish the walk. Well, he was right. By the time it was all over, my stomach was growling.

who's the best?

2006-05-26T21:17:00.000+08:00

they're neither twins nor siblings. they're cousins and they're poles apart. the girl would eat everything while the boy hardly eats anything. the girl wouldn't kiss strangers but the boy would kiss almost everybody. the boy loves to dance, the girl is into singing.

they're both in their terrible two's and i pity their moms and dads and their yayas. but one thing common with them is their ninang. and at this early age, they've both been trained to answer this very important question:

"Who's the best?"

"Ninang Kero, only!"

3 wishes

2006-05-12T21:12:00.000+08:00

as much as i wanted for time to stop, the inevitable happened. i turned a year older a few days ago. though i didn't blow any candles, i made 3 wishes just the same.

i wish for...

1. passion in my career...or find something i could be passionate about.

2. a love life. period.

3. world peace...no, really!

wishful thinking

2006-05-04T22:06:00.000+08:00

i wish i could be there soon, or to any beach for that matter. the summer months are almost over and i haven't even been near a body of water yet, except the one beside roxas boulevard.

i long to walk in the white soft sands that could remove all kinds of calluses, the salty water that could sting the eyes, (but what the heck!) and most of all, i long for the quiet lazy days. instead, i'm cooped inside a building, day in and day out. haay...those were the days...

payday

2006-04-11T23:27:00.000+08:00

a few hours from now, i'm getting my very first paycheck as a resident. it's not much but i'm very excited. in fact, i've already spent most of it in my mind as i windowshopped in the mall earlier. just 3 things: a new pair of sandals that i don't really need, a blouse and a book. sadly, that's all my meager paycheck can afford.

for the past 2 months, i've been working without pay. i spent my first month as a pre-resident, it's like training before the real residency training. on my second month, i officially began my residency training but i didn't get my salary. it's the hospital's policy to keep the first month's salary as a cash bond, just in case i decide to quit. if i quit before the end of my training, i wouldn't be able to get it. i'll only be able to get it when i finish my training...which is going to be in 4 years time, but with interest, daw.

it's a misconception that by becoming a doctor, one automatically becomes financially rich. but that isn't the case, especially if one is still in training, like me. doctors do become rich, in other aspects, but not always monetary. we're just like most of the people out there: overstressed, overworked and underpaid...but always looking forward to payday.

"goodmorning mam, sir"

2006-04-01T22:35:00.000+08:00

earlier this morning, my senior resident and i bought our breakfast in a nearby chowking branch. as we entered the store, we were cheerfully greeted with, "goodmorning mam, sir". nothing unusual about it, i know.

but have you noticed everytime you enter a store, especially a fastfood joint, whether alone or with a group, the crew would greet you with "good_____ mam, sir". it was said with an intonation that i could not even begin to describe here. you have to hear it to appreciate it, i guess. and it was always like that and never just "good_______ maam" or "good______ sir". i wonder why?

maybe they're never sure if one is a real male or female so they use both to avoid problems. maybe that's how they were trained by their superiors. but it's kinda weird, though. i can't think of any other reasons.

or trip-trip lang talaga?

humbling experience

2006-03-15T21:03:00.000+08:00

A FRIENDLY REMINDER: if you haven't eaten yet or have just eaten, better defer from reading this...

one of the procedures we do in our department is the barium enema study. it's done when you want to visualize the large intestines by using a contrast, which is barium. it's like an x-ray but with contrast. a catheter is inserted into a patient's rectum and the barium would flow through there until it reaches the last part of the small intestine. but that's not it! after the barium, air would be introduced into the anus by way of the catheter too. if you could just imagine how uncomfortable it seems like, it is and more.

most of the time, the patients are in their 50s who want to rule out colon cancer. i've also had foreigner patients who don't speak any english nor filipino, patients in their 80s or 90s, impatient patients and the perfect patients (walang reklamo). and because of all the air and contrast introduced to them, some of them could not help but defecate even before the procedure was finished. it could be really messy, believe me.

today, i had a young patient who's only in her early 20s. a pretty and sosyal type, she was worried coz she had episodes of bloody stools. she had a colonoscopy (i.e., a scope is inserted into the anus up to the the junction of the small and large intestines to directly see if there's a mass) yesterday but unfortunately, she couldn't stand having the scope so deep inside her that it was discontinued on her request. her AP then referred her to us. i bet she had no idea what she had gotten into. i could see the discomfort in her pretty face as i asked her to follow my directions while trying to control herself from defecating and from farting. i would not be surprised if she was cursing us all throughout the procedure. to make matters worse, she was unable to control herself and made a small mess on the table. nakakaawa sobra.

it struck me that having a barium enema done is a very humbling experience. no matter how pretty you are or rich or powerful, if you have to go, you gotta go.

3-day week

2006-03-08T22:09:00.000+08:00

my days of the week: pre-duty, duty, from-duty. the conventional 7-day week doesn't exist for me anymore until i go on solo duty which is not gonna happen in another 3 to 4 months. but i'm not complaining, really. in fact, compared to other training programs in other departments, mine is far better.

i don't go on chart rounds, patient rounds, consultant rounds, sweating and puffing while going from one floor to another, from one end of the building to the other or from building to building. all i do the whole day is look at x-ray plates, use my my x-ray vision, i.e, imagination, then write what i see or can't see.

when i leave the hospital after work, i still feel fresh and even look fresh (well, most of the time). the general feeling is light, somewhat stress-free and not the usual toxicity associated with other fields. just right for me. the only downside i see for now is the callous on my right middle finger which is getting bigger everyday from all the writing i do. even a soft rubber around the pen is of no help for my calloused finger.

today, i am pre-duty so that means, i'm going to be on duty for thirty-something hours tomorrow. and so i end this lousy post...

lost

2006-02-24T20:00:00.000+08:00

first, she declared my duty day a holiday. then she declared a state of emergency on the day i was supposed to meet friends. when will she stop?

the truth is, i don't really have an opinion regarding what's happening. i am one of the millions who have become jaded and apathetic. maybe i've become selfish, thinking only of my own well-being. worse, i'm losing hope that the situation would get better. and the thing that comes to my mind over and over again is the ogre legend.

could somebody please enlighten me? or are we all in the dark?

taxi

2006-02-18T20:19:00.000+08:00

yesterday, i got off from work a little after 5 pm. i didn't have a ride home so i had to take a cab. i knew cabs were not scarce in the area since it was a busy thoroughfare. but after an hour, i was still there, trying to get into one. i waited in all the strategic spots i could think of near the hospital but i still had a hard time.

i saw a lot of cabs pass me by but most of them were occupied. still, i waited patiently until at last, i saw a vacant taxi! i quickly hailed at the driver before anybody could beat me to it. it has been my routine, before entering a cab, to tell the driver my destination since i've had experiences before when rude drivers would refuse to get me to my destination because of "traffic". it turned out this driver wasn't an exception. so i waited for another taxi again.

after 4 or 5 more taxis, all refusing to bring me home, my temper was near boiling point. the cabdrivers all had excuses. one told me he was going to makati which was in the opposite direction to where i was going. 2 or 3 drivers told me it was ma-traffic. hello?! it was 5 pm! i didn't think there was a single area in metro manila where the traffic was light! and it was friday! !$@*&%

i really don't understand why there are taxi drivers who refuse to go anywhere where they think they would be caught in traffic. if they wanted to avoid getting caught in traffic, why don't they just ply the road in the wee hours of the morning. coz i'm a hundred percent sure they wouldn't be caught in heavy traffic, in any traffic! kainis!

only in the...2

2006-02-15T21:09:00.000+08:00

a boxing champion. he did us proud in his recent match and obviously, that's where his talent lies, inside the ring. now, he's a recording artist too. i heard his cd is selling very well but i don't think people bought it to hear his voice. they bought it simply because he sang the songs and the people could relate to them.

where else can you find a combination as lethal as that? only in da...

wag na lang sana

2006-02-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

anakngkabayo nagparamdam ka nanaman. bakit ba di ka na lang manahimik sa sulok mo gaya ng pananahimik ko sa sulok ko. di naman ata mahirap gawin yon. pinili mo ang pinili mo. wala ng bawian. desisyon mo, sana mapanindigan mo.

kung kinakain ka ng konsensya mo, wag na, sayang lang. pero kung makakatulong ito kahit papaano, ayos lang ako. isa pa, matagal na panahon na yon. tumanda ka na, tumanda na ko at nagtanda tayo. kung hihilingin mong maging magkaibigan tayo uli, sana wag na lang. tutal masaya na naman tayo sa buhay natin.

ano man ang dahilan mo para magparamdam muli, tingin ko tama na yung mabuhay tayo sa mga sarili nating mundo. ano po sa tingin mo?

season 10

2006-02-09T21:52:00.000+08:00

i recently had the chance to finish friends season 10 on dibidi...from quiapo, where else! i must admit i felt sad that it had to end but i really can't blame the actors since they've been playing the same role for more than 10 years, i think. they probably needed a fresh breath of air.

but even if they've been running that long, it was only in the last 2 years, just when the whole thing was ending, that i got hooked to watching the show. i wasn't able to get the chance to watch the sitcom on tv though, coz i didn't have one in my dorm. but one of my roomies, K, brought her vcd collection to the dorm. there was a catch though, we would only watch them during study breaks using the pc. we were allowed to watch only an episode a day but with our low EQs, those study breaks would stretch to 2 hours...meaning we would finish 4 episodes each time. haay...those were the days.

anyway, back to friends, i can now understand why they had been winning awards for the longest time. it was a really funny show and i don't think there was one episode that i didn't laugh out loud, alone or with company, with their crazy and often times, stupid antics. there was this one time i decided on watching just 1 episode before going to bed since i was a little sleepy. i even set the tv on sleep just in case i'd fall asleep before the episode ended. well, sleep was farthest from my mind after i finished all the 4 episodes in the cd!

but all good things has to come to an end. the characters and the actors themselves had to move on with their lives, just like everybody else. and watching their last episode, it made me remember that in moving on or saying goodbye, we could always bring with us all the memories of things that were, both good and bad. but no matter how we try to go back to that time or to that era or to that feeling, it would never be the same. because no matter how we deny it, we all change. and as the saying goes, the only thing that's constant in this world, is change.

may logic ba?

my new world

2006-02-02T20:45:00.000+08:00

a new beginning in a new environment. a far cry from the previous one. each morning, when i wake up, there's a happy glow inside me. there's an eagerness to learn new things. and i need to learn A LOT. and even if toxicity starts to get in, i still plan to stay for the next couple of years.

so if and when i start whining how hard things are in my new world, i hope to be reminded of this entry. until then, i would continue hoping and praying that things would work out this time.

Gung Hay Fat Choy (?)

2006-01-28T00:40:00.000+08:00

pagkagising ko kanina, bumulagta sa akin sa aming dining table ang isang tasang bigas, isang tasang suka, at isang tasang asukal. meron ding hindi ko malamang rootcrop at iba't ibang prutas. bakit may ganon sa lamesa? agad kong tinanong ang aming kasambahay at sabi nila, "Nilagay ng mommy mo." ha? at doon ko naisip na baka chinese new year ngayon o eve ng chinese new year. pero teka, kelan pa kami naging chinese family at nag-celebrate ng chinese new year?

unang-una, walang co sa aming apelyido, gaya ng tantoco o kaya cojuangco. sa katunayan, ang apelyido namin ay isang propesyon at hindi chinese sounding. pangalawa, hindi manilaw-nilaw ang aming balat...tan, pwede pa. at pangatlo, wala kaming factory, o restaurant, o tindahan. in short, di kami business-minded kundi mga karaniwang namamasukan lamang.

hay nako, ano man ang dahilan ng nanay ko, nawa'y maging maswerte at maunlad ang lahat ng Pilipino ngayong taon. pero sabi nga nila, ang swerte eh hindi napupunta sa mga tamad kaya tingnan na lang natin. kaya sa inyong lahat, isang maagang Chung chang cheng chung...este, Gung Hay Fat Choy! =)

bookstores and books

2006-01-24T18:18:00.000+08:00

one of the things i love doing in a mall is visit the bookstore. or if i have to meet someone, the bookstore is my preferred meeting place. at least i wouldn't get bored or look stupid when the other person is late. i could just browse there forever, look for new titles, read the synopsis at the back of a book or just check if the title i have my eye on is on paperback (coz hardbounds are way too expensive).

during one of those bookstore trips, i chanced upon a David Sedaris book, Me Talk Pretty One Day. when i saw it, i had no idea who david sedaris was. i think i was in a somber mood that day and i needed something to perk me up. so i bought it, with no background of the author and no idea what was in store for me except for some comments at the back. it promised to be a funny, witty book, and i thought, just right for my mood then. on the internet, the author was said to be "a master of satire". the comments proved to be right about the book so i wasn't disappointed. in fact, i got myself another one of his books, Dress Your Family in Corduroy & Denim, and finished it in record time.

his books were more of the autobiographical type (which isn't my kind of book at all), recounting his childhood, family life, jobs, life experiences, his partner (he's homosexual) but all were written with humor in mind. it's more like a blog, but without the grammar errors, so maybe that's why i was hooked. i would have bought some more of his books but the paperback editions were still out of stock...so until the next one.

tindera

2006-01-19T08:59:00.000+08:00

yesterday, i accompanied my balikbayan aunt and cousin to the greenhills tiangge for a little shopping. my cousin was very excited to go there after hearing so much about it from her filipino friends and relatives. everybody urged her to see the stuff they sell there, especially the "branded" shoes and bags and she wasn't disappointed. even if the prices were almost double from the ones sold in divi mall or 168, they were more than satisfied with what they bought. they were careful, though, not to buy too much fake bags coz airport officials are strict now and they might get fined, or even charged.

anyway, as we were going through one of the stalls, my cousin saw a pair of gym pants that she liked. i haggled for her but the saleslady wouldn't budge. she said the prices were fixed and wouldn't give even a P5 discount. so i told her we would get them anyway but she had to give me an official receipt. yes, a receipt from the BIR. i read in the papers that even tiangges or bazaars should issue receipts and it's my right to demand one. with arrogance, she told me that they indeed have a receipt. so i told her again to issue me one. that's when she told me, still with arrogance, that they did have a receipt but it's in their other store somewhere in the tiangge. i told her to get one and we will wait for it.

my golly, all these started when she wouldn't give us a discount! i just thought that since she wouldn't budge, i might as well ensure that they were paying their taxes. she was proud that they had an official receipt, but what was the good in it if it remained unused. she was just plain lazy to give me one. in fact, it wouldn't even be her who would pay the taxes, it would be her boss, the owner of the store. but then, it was possible too that her boss instructed her not to give out receipts so as not to pay higher taxes to the government. hay nako!

by habit, i don't really ask for receipts, especially in flea markets or tiangges. it's just a waste of my time when i need to cover a lot in just a little amount of time. but when there are salespeople who are rude, i make sure that my right, as a consumer, are not ignored or forgotten.

so what happened with my cousin's gym pants? we didn't buy them...but i memorized the store's name, which was, by the way, mimax or mimox, and looked for their other store somewhere in that tiangge. babaw!

chicharon bulaklak

2006-01-14T13:41:00.000+08:00

last december 31, my mom went out to meet her friends for lunch while i was left home alone coz i was sick. by mid afternoon, my eldest brother, K1, and his family came for a visit. he brought with him a bag of chicharon bituka (deep fried pig intestines) and chicharon bulaklak (mesentery). no, it wasn't pulutan for new year's eve, rather it was going to be our snack and dinner, if it would last that long.

it did last until dinner, even up to new year's day, not that we didn't like them, but because about an hour after my brother arrived, my mom came home, also bearing wit her, a bag each of chicharon bituka and bulaklak! you could just imagine all the cholesterol those chicharons had and must be avoided at all cost, especially my mom. obviously, everybody in my family loves eating those sinful, fat-laden, sure-to-give-you-gout-attacks chicharon. in fact, when my other brother, K2, came with his family to wait for the new year, guess what he brought? chicharon bulaklak and bituka!

i guess my mom and 2 brothers were in the same wavelength that day. nobody asked anybody to buy chicharon bulaklak but everybody knew it would be much appreciated. saraaaap!

ants

2006-01-12T22:32:00.000+08:00

why do ants move from one place to another? last night, i saw a colony of black ants, around 5 in a row, as if in a procession, each one carrying a crumb or what-have-yous. they all came from behind the sink in our bathroom and were going somewhere behind a cupboard in our kitchen. the procession seemed endless. but i wasn't able to see the queen ant, though. probably she was in front, leading her workers (or slaves?) to their new home.

so why did they leave their original home? my mom said, maybe there would be a big storm coming so they were moving to higher grounds. i was thinking along the same line too, like an earthquake or something. as i was watching their progress while thinking of morbid scenarios, a member of our household started spraying lysol along their path. another one lit a newspaper and tried to burn them all to death!

poor ants. such hardworking fellows but often misunderstood. all they want is to have enough food for their colony especially during the rainy days, just like what one of the children's book i read said. if only man could be as hardworking as ants, the world would be a much better place to live in. and i'm sure they have much more to teach us than vice versa.

but i admit they could be really pests sometimes, especially if they feast on my chocolates!

only in the...

2006-01-09T20:17:00.000+08:00

posted on the gate of a house:

FOR RENT
CALL BOY
(8888888)

only in the philippines!

kangkungan

2006-01-07T08:20:00.000+08:00

bagong taon, bagong trabaho. sa wakas, may direksyon na buhay ko...yon ang akala ko at ang akala ng lahat. duty sana ako ng unang araw ng taon pero di ako nakapasok dahil bago pa dumating ang a-uno, nagkasakit na ako. lahat na ng sakit na maisip mo, meron ako. lagnat, sakit ng ulo, sakit ng katawan, sakit ng tiyan at ang pinakamatindi, LBM! di magandang senyales, sa isip ko. pero mas malamang, yung mga sintomas na yon, may halong sintomas dala ng pagiisip, ika nga, psychosomatic. sa sobrang pagdadalawang-isip sa direksyon na tatahakin, lumabas sa ibang anyo...LBM!

pumasok din naman ako kinabukasan. nag duty pa nga ako ng higit sa 24 oras. matutulungin mga kasama ko. alam nilang bago lang ako at lahat ng tulong, ginawa nila. ayan yung samahan nila ko tingnan mga pasyente, turuan nila ko ng mga style o strategy, bigyan ng tips at kung anu-ano pa. pero sa kabila ng lahat, lalo ko lang naramdaman na hindi talaga para sa akin ang field na yon. mantakin mong sa higit na 24 oras na nilagi ko don, di man lang ako ngumiti.

siguro para sa iba, first day blues lang yon. kung tutuusin, hindi toxic ang field na yon, kumpara sa ibang specialization sa ospital na yon. hindi lang talaga ako masaya. akala ko, kakayanin kong pagtiyagaan, makapag-umpisa lang ng training. pero hindi pala. ayokong matapos ang 3 taon na pagsisisihan ko lang kung bakit ko sya tinuloy. ayoko ring matapos ang 3 taon na di ako ngumingiti...tiyak, ang pangit ko na non. kaya minabuti ko ng umalis na, habang maaga, bago pa maapektuhan ang trabaho ko at itsura ko.

saan na ko pupulutin ngayon? malamang sa kangkungan. pero di pa rin ako nawawalan ng pagasa na maiisip ko rin kung saan ako patungo. pero syempre, di ko kakayaning magisa ito. kelangang tawagin ang Powers-that-be sa Itaas.

a prayer

2006-01-01T13:58:00.000+08:00

THE SERENITY PRAYER

GOD, grant me the
Serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change

Courage
to change the
things I can

and the Wisdom
to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Amen

by Reinhold Neibuhr

--------------

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!

service

2005-12-29T09:27:00.000+08:00

after all the christmas happenings, my mom decided to spend some quality time with her grandchildren. she booked two rooms at the westin philippine plaza hotel. of course, she can't be expected to take care of 5 kids on her own so the whole family went with her. this was going to be my first stay in that hotel and i've heard so many good things about it, even if it wasn't as new as most of the hotels in the area were. i had very high expectations when we checked in and by the time we checked out, i promised myself not to stay on that hotel again, more so, i wouldn't recommend it to anybody else.

i dunno if it was just me, but i think they prefer foreign guests more than the local guests. when i saw them dealing with a foreign guest, they were ever so courteous but when dealing with local guests, the smiles were a little forced. but then again, maybe it was just my imagination...i really hope so. when we checked in, we requested for adjoining rooms with a connecting door. they said we had to wait coz they were still cleaning the rooms. so we waited for an hour only to find out our rooms didn't have a connecting door. so my brother and i requested for a transfer. after waiting for a long time, we were finally given adjoining rooms. ok, so maybe the hotel was packed that was why they were a little slow in doing things.

finally, we were inside our rooms. the first things i look for when i'm in a hotel room are the bathrooms and the closets. i knew the hotel was old but i didn't expect the bathrooms to be shabby. there were no toothbrush and toothpaste set and when i looked inside the closet, there were no slippers either! good thing my own toothbrush and toothpaste were always with me. but i thought it was a standard thing for a hotel, especially, a 5-star hotel to provide such simple things. hmmm...maybe i was over reacting. maybe they just forgot to put it there so i call up housekeeping. they told me they charge extra for a toothcare set, slippers, extra towels, extra blankets, extra pillows and everything else you could think of.

the thing is, i've stayed numerous times in other hotels, both the new ones and the not so new ones. but they didn't charge extra for everything unlike in philippine plaza. in fact, they were more than happy to provide extra pillows and extra blankets because that would mean a juicy tip for them.

oh, and when my sister-in-law claimed her car from the valet, the passenger seat was wet! our theory was, somebody slept in her car, turned on the airconditioner, opened the window a little, to avoid carbon monoxide poisoning and forgot all about it. whoever slept in the car wouldn't have been discovered had it not rained the whole night. talk about service!

on our second night, my mom asked me if i wanted to extend our stay for another night. i said no way! i would rather go home and play sims2 than stay there...unless we transferred to another hotel. hehehe

HO HO HO!!!

2005-12-24T15:15:00.000+08:00

From my family to yours...

*** thanks to f.r.i.e.d.w.a.t.e.r for sharing this site. =)

a wedding...

2005-12-22T23:43:00.000+08:00

a wedding...

my good friend from highschool, C, got married to her long-time beau, A. their love story started while they were still in college, and experienced the ups and downs all couples go through. after 13 years of friendship, ten of which they spent as a couple, they decided to take their relationship to a higher level. it was about time!

C was the picture of a very happy bride. she was glowing from within and very pretty (even prettier than me! =P) as she was walking down the aisle. the groom, A, started crying the moment he saw C walking towards him. those were not tears of regret, but most probably, tears of joy that finally, they would seal their relationship under the eyes of God. i noticed that at the end of C's march, almost everybody was misty eyed. haay...

i dunno what it is exactly about weddings that make me cry. the moment i see a bride walking down the aisle, my vision would start to cloud with tears. but i've also noted that this would only happen when i'm personally close to the couple, more so, to the bride. i guess, like with most people, i could sense the love surrounding the couple that i would be overwhelmed with joy, hence, the activated lacrimal glands.

a funeral...and curlytops

2005-12-22T23:35:00.000+08:00

...a funeral

the day after the wedding, i went to the funeral of a dear aunt. she was my mom's sister-in-law and though i wasn't very close to her, she would be remembered with fondness. when i was young, everytime tita R went to visit us, she'd bring a box or 2 of curly tops chocolates for me and my 3 siblings, to be divided equally. i would always anticipate her visits since it was my only chance to eat that brand of chocolate. i think at the time, it was one of the expensive local chocolates available and i could not afford to buy it with my small allowance. whether it was somebody's birthday, christmas or a social visit, she always had something to give us. if it wasn't curly tops, it was some other chocolate one could buy only in sari-sari stores. but for my sweet tooth, the brand didn't matter much.

it was only when i was a little older did i realize how my tita R and her whole family stood financially. they weren't well off, in fact, they were so hard-up that the usual reason she would visit was because she would ask my mom for some help. and all those times, all i could think of was the curly tops she would bring! my mom would even reprimand her for giving us gifts coz she knew how difficult life was for them. but she never stopped bringing us those chocolates, until i was well in my teens, not minding my mom at all. and i love her for that!

...and curly tops

when the funeral date was set, my older sister called me up. she said she wasn't sure if she would be able to attend coz she lived around 3 hours drive from manila and still had to see her patients before she could leave her place. actually, it was alright for her not to attend the funeral since our family would be represented by me and my mom, plus she already paid her last respect a few days before. but then i could not help but ask her, "ate, remember the curly tops she used to bring us?"...

i didn't need to say more coz the mere memory of those curly tops, and tita R's generosity was enough to make her come and say goodbye to our dear tita R, for the last time.

back

2005-12-21T20:57:00.000+08:00

i'm back! after a two-week absence (not by choice), i can blog again! definitely, sims2 wasn't the cause of my prolonged absence, rather it looked like it was a conspiracy against me perpetuated by unknown forces (in short, malas lang talaga!). it all started when our phone line went dead, which took a few days before the pldt guys came over and fixed it. not long after that, my external modem suddenly stopped functioning, probably because of old age (7 years) or could be due to the innumerable times it fell, dropped, and shaken. i was reduced to checking my mail using my cell phone. i wouldn't be surprised if i get an angina attack when my next phone bill arrives.

as much as i want to get a dsl connection so i wouldn't have modem problems, i still can't afford it yet. i had no choice but to get a new modem. so now, i'm back in business. haay salamat =)

"oh where, oh where"

2005-12-06T22:57:00.000+08:00

something has been boggling me these past two weeks. about 2 months ago, i bought a pair of janitor fish in a pet shop to help "clean" our aquarium. the pair was of the albino variety, so-called because instead of the usual black color, they were somewhat whitish with red spots. i chose the smallest pair since we had an experience before wherein once the janitor fish were bigger than the goldfish, angelfish, etc, they tend to fight or run, oops...i mean, swim after the smaller ones. so i thought, getting the small ones would take some time before they really grow.

our aquarium's other inhabitants were a pair of small redcaps (a variety of goldfish), a pair of goldfish (the regular type), a pair of angelfish and a giant redcap which was the oldest one in the group. the others were bought a week before the janitor fish. and so the peaceful co-existence of the janitor fish with the other fish went on for about a month. they were fed regularly, although at times, a little overfed when my nephews and nieces come and visit. the cleaning part was courtesy of the janitor fish...which they were doing nicely.

now, the part that has been boggling me. about two weeks ago, as i was watching the fish while feeding them, i couldn't see the pair of janitor fish. i know they usually hide in the sands or in between rocks so i tried to look at every nook and cranny my eyes could see. but still, i couldn't find them. i asked everybody if any of the fish died and took them out, or if anybody had cleaned the aquarium yet. the answer to both questions were no. so i asked our helper to clean the aquarium to really find out if they were just hiding somewhere. they weren't.

my brother told me they could have jumped, and so i looked around the area of the aquarium, still no janitor fish to be found. another said, maybe the giant redcap ate them. hmmm...i thought this was possible but somebody told me janitor fish' skin were too hard. good point. and i suppose, if they were eaten, there would be some debris left?

just like how P's favorite song goes...

"oh where, oh where did the janitor fish (little dog) go?
oh where, oh where could it be?"

naglahong parang bula!

the newbies, et al

2005-11-30T10:20:00.000+08:00

the culprit and pathetic excuse of why i haven't been blogging lately. for the past few weeks, since i got the new desktop, i've been playing the sims 1 & 2. my old pc couldn't run these games so with the arrival of the new one, i've been spending more time playing and less time surfing.

i dunno if i should be branded as an addict but lately i've been staying up till 2 to 3 am, not surfing the internet nor reading a book, but playing, what else, the sims! i know my blog has been suffering since i'm now down from a 2-3 entries a week to a once a week entry. sad.

even in sleep, i dream of the newbies, the goth family and the others. if i'm awakened after a 3-hour sleep, i could feel my energy bar still in red. the only difference is, i don't dish out expletives. for those who play the game, you'd probably understand what i'm trying to say.

and now i'm off to pleasantville to continue the saga of the goth family.

kids

2005-11-27T00:28:00.000+08:00

don't you sometimes wish you're still a kid or at least, maintain that childhood innocense? when i read these letters, i could not help but smile and somehow wish that they would stay kids for a very long time. these letters were probably written by 6 or 7-year-olds who, in their stage, were curious with the world they live in, teeming with questions. and figured out the best one to ask is none other than God.

sometimes it takes a child to make one remember that He, besides being the Creator, is our friend and ally too.

and that even if He doesn't always give what we want, just like what this kid said, there's nobody better than God.

i believe that kids are really smarter than adults!

a letter

2005-11-19T22:15:00.000+08:00

as i was going through my things, i saw this letter given to me by one of my roomies many years ago. she used to write letters in those small papers she always had, usually when our other roommate and i were fast asleep. i remember i asked her a question, which at that point of my life, an immediate response was greatly appreciated. and she replied with this:

you cope by returning to the people and your life with them which you somehow left when your world became him. and you cope by finding other worlds in which to move; and you cope by turning to other people whom you don't really pay attentiion to before and discover the treasure in them. you cope by surrounding yourself with people who you know loves you and try to spend more time with them. you cope by turning to long neglected harrison's and robbins. you cope by calling family and cousins and long time no-talk friends. you cope by learning something new to do. you cope by immersing yourself in all these. then you rise above your sadness coz there's life waiting after him...MAYBE AN EVEN BETTER LIFE.

reading it again, i thought of sharing it to others who has the same question in their minds. oh, and in case anybody's wondering, the letter did help. all thanks to my roomy. and it's about time i share it with others too.

Douglas

2005-11-15T19:28:00.000+08:00

come christmas time, the christmas decors kept in storage are brought out and cleaned. that's when the small christmas tree, named "douglas" by my niece, M, becomes alive again. douglas was a gift to my mom a long long time ago. it sings jingle bells with a baritone, and while singing, its eyes would blink and its big "mouth" would open and close too like a puppet. the singing would start again when a sound was made like hands clapping or banging of any object.

and for those features, the small kids are scared of it. when M was around 2 or 3, and douglas was still new, she'd cry everytime she sees it. now that she's older, it's still not one of her favorite christmas decors. recently, the latest victim was my 1 year old nephew, L. when the tree was shown to him, he eagerly pointed at it and said "cri, cri!", roughly translated, "christmas tree!". but when it suddenly started singing, the shock in his eyes and the crying which immediately followed meant that douglas struck again!

douglas has only one thing to say to all its victims..."HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

"you're next"

2005-11-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

ever since my brother got married a couple of years ago, i became the only single member in my family. family friends and relatives, especially the female oldies, made it their mission in life to ask me when would i be next. they would ask me at the most inopportune times, be it in a party, a wedding, a funeral, or in the mall. my answers would vary, depending on my mood...

"secret" then leave with a smile.

"never!" ... seldom used coz this would just start another round of questions.

"when i win in the lotto, i'd buy a husband." ... after hearing this, they'd usually smile then shake their heads.

"i'm still saving money to buy one." ... same reaction as the previous one.

"next year!" ... this answer usually shut them up.

but right now, i'm thinking of adding another answer to my repertoire after J forwarded an email message to me...

*_HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED_*

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

i think, this is the best one yet!

6/42

2005-11-02T21:33:00.000+08:00

on the morning of my mom's birthday, she found out that she won in the lotto. of course, it wasn't the jackpot or else i wouldn't be blogging about it. she got 5 numbers out of the six which wasn't bad at all. it was like a surprise birthday gift for her.

after telling me the good news, she asked me to claim it for her at the PCSO. accompanied by our driver, the two of us proceeded to claim the prize. when C and i arrived there at past 8 am, quite a few people were already there to claim their prizes. so i got a number and waited for my turn. the first window was to check if i do really have the winning numbers. for a moment, i thought the lady was gonna tell me i got the wrong winning numbers or something like that. but instead, she gave me her sweetest smile and asked me if i would like to buy sweepstakes tickets from her!

on the next window, i was asked to fill up and sign some forms. again, i was asked to buy some tickets, but this time, i declined. there was no smile as i was directed to the next step. all in all, i went to five different people, all trying to check if i really got the winning ticket and all trying to sell me their sweepstakes tickets. if i bought tickets from all of them, i'd be P500.00 poorer. probably they thought that since i won, i'd be generous enough to spare them a few hundred bucks. but then, it wasn't my money to spend so sorry na lang sila!

after almost 3 hours, C and i finally got my mom's prize. my mom, in her happy state, promised to get me a new desktop so this old one could finally retire with dignity. para akong nanalo sa lotto!

kapag nanalo ang ginebra

2005-10-27T00:16:00.000+08:00

sa unang pagkakataon, nanood ako ng pba sa araneta coliseum na walang laro ang san miguel beermen. unang beses ko ring nakitang napuno ang araneta pagkatapos ng matagal na panahon. at sa una ring pagkakataon, nakisama ako sa karamihan na nag cheer para sa baranggay ginebra. masama man ang loob ko, wala akong magawa dahil ginebra ang nagbigay ng libreng tickets sa akin. isa pa, baka mabato ako sa aking kinakaupuan kung kumampi ako sa kalaban dahil puro kampi sa ginebra ang nasa paligid ko.

mabuti na lang, hindi binigo ng ginebra ang mga fans nila (di ako kasama). at least, makakasiguro ang pilipinas na medyo bababa ang crime rate ngayong gabi. masayang umuwi ang mga fans kanina.

masaya rin ako umuwi kanina, hindi dahil nanalo ang ginebra, kundi nakita ko uli si hector calma! =)

beetle mania

2005-10-22T17:46:00.000+08:00

one friday night, my friends offered to drive me home after a long and enjoyable dinner. it was way past midnight and as we passed along visayas ave., we stopped by a gas station. and there we saw, parked on the station, around twenty or so vintage volkswagen cars of different colors and i guess, year make. it was like beetle car owners formed a fraternity and they had a meeting that night. maybe they meet there every friday and maybe, they race their cars against each other too.

i really can't understand the fascination of men (or boys?) to this type of car. it's too small, doesn't run very fast and spends more time in the repair shop than on the road. but then, maybe they love it so much because it reminded them of their own happy childhood. i think it was the car during the 70s. my cousins had a green beetle when i was very young and i looked forward riding in their car coz my family didn't own a car. i had such wonderful memories in that beetle until one day, when we were parked along laloma (the lechon capital), the back seat suddenly caught fire! good thing the fire was controlled and nobody got hurt but we all went home in a squat position coz the seat was too hot.

i remember one of my friends owned one too. he would talk about it as if it was his precious girlfriend. in fact, i think he talked about it more than his girlfriend. another friend let me and K ride in her own mustard volks on our way back to antipolo during our community rotation. it was a little late and we were along marcos highway, laughing our hearts out (we were a teeny-weeny bit tipsy), when the engine suddenly stopped. in between shock and fits of laughter, we pushed the car until it could jumpstart again. we ended up more tired from all the laughing and giggling than from the actual pushing.

???

2005-10-17T21:17:00.000+08:00

last week they told me i'm in if i finish the required 2 weeks of pre-residency. today, they gave me some forms to complete prior to my appointment. i ought to be relieved that i'm going to train in one of the best, if not the best, government hospitals in the country. plus, the salary is going to be way higher than those from private hospitals. but why am i not jumping with joy? in fact, i feel as if the world is closing in on me.

must be the whole atmosphere in the hospital. it's so dark and gloomy there. lots of people coming and going. lots of patients waiting to be seen but could not afford the the laboratory work-ups needed or the medicines prescribed to them. maybe i'm just used to the kind of hospital i had my internship in. or maybe, my heart is just not into the field i'm going to train in.

hay nako... pwede kayang tumunganga na lang?

special day

2005-10-15T23:06:00.000+08:00

he got married at 40 and was 50 when i was born. the man who's old enough to be my grandfather, but is in fact, my dad would have been 80 today. the whole family was at the cemetery today to be with him on his birthday.

long before his grandchildren came, being the youngest, i was his little girl and was spared from the usual punishments my siblings got while they were growing up. even after i was fully grown up, my brothers would cajole my dad to use his leather belt on me everytime i arrived home late. of course, they were unsuccessful. up until i was in my early teens, my dad and i had a ritual everyday and that consisted of kissing him on both cheeks, afterwhich, he would smell both my armpits then give each other a hug. we called it "tuka". but when i got a little older, the tuka was modified into a simple kiss on the cheeks.

i thought that with the arrival of his first 2 grandchildren, my role as his baby would be delegated to them. it did, in some ways, but for most of the time, i remained his baby. in fact, when i was already in my internship, my dad still wouldn't allow me to go back to my dorm alone in a cab. if there was no one to drive me, he would accompany me back to the dorm in a cab since he didn't drive. he was already in his mid 70s at the time.

just like any son or daughter, i thought my dad would live forever. although i knew he was way older than my friends' dads and that he used to be a heavy smoker (he died from lung ca), somehow i hoped that he would still be with us for a much longer time. but i have to be content with the thought that though he may not be with us physically, he's definitely up there watching over us all. and all the shared memories and love remain in our hearts forever.

end of the world?

2005-10-09T21:08:00.000+08:00

another earthquake, another natural calamity. what's next? where next? i hope and pray this country would be spared of any calamity, or better yet, there would never be a next one, anywhere. as it is, the whole world is beset with all types of calamities, both man-made and natural. it seems there's just no escape for man. kakalungkot.

when i think about it, my problems now look like tiny specks of dirt compared to what the victims of these calamities went through and still going through. while i am just deciding what to do next with my life, these people lost the love of their lives, their homes, their jobs and for some, the meaning of their lives.

i realize, as i have realized countless times before, that i'm still blessed in every way. that my problems are mere obstacles meant to be passed through, to put me in the right direction and keep me on the ground. right now, i think the victims would have a hard time seeing it the way i do but i pray that they would still find peace and hope in their hearts.

eggs

2005-10-06T22:36:00.000+08:00

earlier, i dropped by unimart to do some minor grocery shopping with marvin the martian, who was kind enough to accompany me. i was unfamiliar where some of the stuff i need were since the store wasn't the one i usually frequent to. so it took me a longer time than usual trying to complete my short list.

last on the list was a dozen of eggs (for my baking) and i asked the martian to help me look for it. pushing my cart, i went ahead and looked left and right for the needed eggs when i suddenly heard,

" boss, boss, san nakalagay itlog mo?"

anak ng jueteng!

angels and kids

2005-10-02T19:40:00.000+08:00

i have always read and heard of stories about angels saving lives, helping people or playing with very small children. although i believe they're in our midst, and maybe at some point have helped me one way or another, i have never really seen one.

earlier today, i was carrying my 8-month old nephew, K, and pointing to him the birds, dogs, flowers, and wind chime, among other things, outside our house. the whole time, K was just staring passively at all the things i showed him. but when i pointed to him the wood-carved image of the Sacred Heart and Mama Mary above our main door, he suddenly broke into a smile then a giggle. so i didn't make too much fuss about it and continued showing him other things. i tried to experiment and pointed to him the wood carvings, again, he smiled and even made pa-cute eyes! i did this a couple of times more and even showed it to other people in the house, still, K had the same reaction. whatever he was seeing there, i guess, it was a regular playmate of my nephew.

when my niece, P, was around that age too, we also thought she had playmates we couldn't see. P isn't like other babies who's smiling and kissing everybody all the time and cries only when hungry or wet. she's more of the moody, sungit type (like her godmother) and at a very young age, had a mind of her own. anyway, everytime i get her from her nanny, P would always break into tears. as in always. one day, i brought her to my room while still crying and tried to amuse her by showing her anything i could see inside the room. so there on the wall was a framed cross-stitch of cherubs and upon seeing it, P stopped crying and giggled. crazy girl, huh? after that, every time P cried, i would show her the cherubs and would magically smile and giggle.

my other nephew, L, had similar experiences too. his mom thinks his playmates could be tickling his stomach too coz everytime he sees pictures of angels, L would point to his tummy and laugh. whatever they're doing, be it winking, tickling or playing with them, we're just glad that they're able to make the kids laugh and be happy.

toxic powers

2005-09-30T18:35:00.000+08:00

as much as i want to deny it, i am a toxic magnet. no, i don't attract poisons, but i attract toxic (i.e., problematic; abundant ) patients, be it in the hospital or at the out-patient clinic i go to. definitely, the owners of the hospital aren't complaining since that means profit for them. but the nurses, midwives, nursing aids i work with aren't exactly happy. toxic patients mean more work for them and for me, of course. but i'm not complaining coz i'm better compensated as compared to them.

to make their shifts with me a little bearable for them i usually bring out my bag of goodies. i'm a believer of the saying, "the way to a person's heart is through his stomach", but in this case, the staff's heart. so far, my strategy has been working. though they're dead tired at the end of the day, their stomachs are not grumbling as well.

but still, every single week that i've been there, the staff would ask if i'm coming back the next week. although i would like to think that they would miss me if i'm not coming back, i think the main reason is they just want to know so they could schedule their off days to coincide with my duty days. oh well, at least, they haven't filed emergency leaves at the same time.

so far, i hold the record of the most number of admissions and the most number of ORs in a single day in that hospital....hmmm...what else? i have yet to experience a duty where i don't admit a really toxic patient, be it a vehicular accident victim, a patient with severe attack of asthma or a patient having a heart attack. i just hope my toxic powers wouldn't run out when i become a consultant!

oh, and i have a little secret...i wouldn't be there on my usual duty days next week. sorry na lang sa mga nag-off!

journey

2005-09-28T21:05:00.000+08:00

a friend of bugsy started a blog which features articles from different blogs that "tell stories of human interest, Filipino virtues and culture". the articles were published in a blog called Journey of the Soul and cath of Now What, Cat? is the one responsible for this wonderful idea. She said...

"I am not ambitious. It is just a simple wish to create a blog that promotes values and virtues that may no longer found from many of us."

and so, i want to thank bugsy, who recommended my entry, what's in a word, to cath. and of course, to cath, who thought it was worth publishing in her blog. as an added bonus to me, cath also featured another article i made a few months back, A. my heartfelt thanks! =)

jack ryan

2005-09-25T01:44:00.000+08:00

i'm currently watching a harrison ford movie on cable tv. i think i've seen this film more than five times but i haven't gotten tired of it. actually, i don't think i'll ever get tired of watching his movies. i dunno what it is about him but i find him ruggedly handsome.

when i see him in a movie, i always get the impression he wouldn't be able to beat the villain but obviously, in the end, he would. i guess it's because his whole demeanor isn't like the typical leading men i see. his is more like the quiet, strong type... parang nasa loob ang kulo. his aggressiveness only becomes apparent when needed and so he could always be taken for granted as a sort-of a weakling. exceptions to this are his charactes in the star wars trilogy and indiana jones series. but then, he was a lot younger then.

he was the best when he played the jack ryan character from tom clancy's books. and it didn't hurt that i'm a tom clancy fan as well. i couldn't imagine anyone who could play jack ryan better. i wish harrison ford would make another jack ryan movie, and this time, the executive orders. i will keep my fingers crossed. but for now, i'll just continue watching his old movies.

room make-over

2005-09-23T17:04:00.000+08:00

for months now, since our living room, dining area and kitchen started to undergo some repairs and repainting job, i've been trying to convince my mom to do the same in my room. i want it done in red! but so far i haven't succeeded and i don't think i ever will. so i'm now left to my own artistic devices.

that's where the problem starts. as much as i want to deny it, i don't have any artistic tendencies. drawing a person for me means drawing a stick figure. thinking or imagining a design for my room is just beyond me. all i know is i want to have colors in my room. right now, everything is in wood. the walls are narra ply, which is the main reason why my mom doesn't want it painted. the beds, the windows, the floor and the cabinets are all made of wood and varnished with antique finish. i wonder if i'd soon end up of antique finish too.

although nothing is broken and all are still functional, sometimes i just find my room too gloomy. so how do i infuse some colors into my room? next to the color problem is the storage problem. my sister and i used to share this room and although she has a house of her own now, she refused to budge when i asked to have her bed removed from the room so there would be more space for storage and other things. i understand her sentiments and i know, that was mean of me for even suggesting it, but then, i just have to try. ;-)

i think i've been watching too much room make-overs on tv!

never again

2005-09-18T01:13:00.000+08:00

did anybody see the small group of people who were holding a protest rally of some sort yesterday along elliptical road? i was there. i was there with that group. and that was a mass action against the closure of one of the specialty hospitals along quezon avenue.

but i didn't go there on my own volition. in fact, i arrived at the clinic yesterday without the knowledge that there was gonna be an activity at lunch time. what i thought was going to be a small forum with a speaker in a small auditorium, it turned out to be a small rally instead. if i had known, i wouldn't have gone to the clinic at all. i thought i have made it clear to them that although i respect their opinions and what they believe in, that didn't mean i'd be joining their rallies. i've said it over and over again that the best i could do was to see and treat the patients that goes to their clinic.

so anyway, there i was with C, who was also one of the doctors at the clinic, and all the office people from that NGO group, who was part of the organizer of the mass action. we were asked to stand beside the road, side by side, some bearing placards, the others just standing there, not knowing what was happening (and that included me). good thing it was raining coz i had my umbrella with me, which also served to cover my face while standing along the road. i didn't want to be seen on tv which could pose a problem for me in case my family sees it.

after we stood there for around 5 minutes, hungry, wet and a little irritated, C and i decided that we've done enough and went back to the jeepney that brought us there. the sad thing was, with all the talk, speech, placards, i dunno if somebody listened at all to what they're trying to impart. though what they're saying or fighting for might be right, i don't think holding rallies would do the job.

as if rubbing salt to injury, i heard from a reliable source, that the hospital they're fighting for isn't closing at all. ayus!

drama king

2005-09-14T23:19:00.000+08:00

at the height of the "hello garci" scandal, my mom thought it best to stock on some basic necessities for fear of instability or any untoward events to happen to the country anytime. in short, my mom went into her panic-buying mode.

on the night she heard GMA asked all the cabinet members to resign, my mom immediately called up my brother and sister to tell them to buy stocks of formula milk for their babies at once. not yet contented, she then called up my eldest brother to buy some more milk on his way home.

unfortunately, he didn't have enough cash with him to buy the cans of milk mom wanted. so he called up my mom to tell her. as he was telling her his predicament, my mom abruptly ended the call, obviously disappointed with her favorite son.

a few minutes after, i received a message from my bro, still in shock and a little peeved by my mom's actions.

"bakit ganon, di lang ako nakabili ng gatas, nagalit na?"

oh my! the eldest son, the bully of all bullies, having a tiff with my mom over some milk! hmm...that was unusual. in the end, i tried to explain that mom was just worried...blah...blah... but my brother could not be pacified. instead, i received a couple of other messages, which ended with,

"pati ba naman problema ni gloria, ako may kasalanan?"

there goes the drama king!

delaying tactics

2005-09-10T02:22:00.000+08:00

these past few weeks, i've been very busy with some new things. i've started a new business and a new hobby, both unrelated to my field of work. and i'm quite enjoying doing them.

i'm currently selling murano-made pendants from italy. i just love those pendants which are made of glass! i'm dreaming of ordering every design available and keep it all to myself! but that would be impossible. so i'm doing the next best thing, which is selling them so i could earn a little to buy some more pendants for me.

as for my new hobby, it has been taking a lot of my time. but i don't mind coz i'm totally enjoying baking. my family is getting bigger because of all the lasagna, cookies and food for the gods i've been making almost every week. although, i haven't heard anyone complaining. in fact, my sister is asking (i.e., demanding) that i bake something every week. and she's kinda suggesting for me to bake cookies for her come christmas time to give to her friends. of course, i declined coz i don't think my hands could stand getting more callous from all the mixing. ano sya, hilo? ;-)

and yet, all these things doesn't hide the fact that i still have to do some major decision making. what i have been doing lately, i've come to realize, is just my own way of delaying the inevitable...ika nga, delaying tactics. but i have to decide real soon. haay nako... somebody help me!

-----
does anybody know what cd the barker channel get their songs from?

our street

2005-09-07T18:20:00.000+08:00

our house is surrounded by two schools. one across our house and the other is a house away from ours. every morning, during school months, whether i like it or not, i wake up to the sound of children's early morning chatter, mothers convincing (i.e., nagging) their kids into going to school, tricycles trying to race each other in bringing the kids to school and all other kinds of noise you can think of. and worse, all these happen before 6 am.

our street, during the school months, is at its busiest, littered with all kinds of vendors, all trying to lure the kids into spending their baon. they sell all kinds of stuff like cotton candy, scramble, chicks, spiders, pabunot, sago, banana-q (or cue?), etc. i think our house is one of 2 houses left in the whole block that doesn't have a store in front. but that didn't mean i didn't have dreams of having a store in front of our house when i was younger...my mind is still tickled by the thought of endless supplies of chocolates, candies and junk food!

and at 8 am, if i'm still not awake by that time, i would definitely wake with the sound of the magtataho, shouting at the top of his voice, "TAHOOOO!". on some days, i would shout back too if i want a glass of taho. and even if nobody wants to buy taho, he would still stop by in front of our house, shouting, tempting us to buy from him. he would stay there for a few minutes until he's convinced that nobody was buying. and he does it every single day, school days or not.

and now, it's almost 6 pm, i could hear the children again passing by the house. their chatter is more animated, their laughter more pronounced, with shouts here and there, oh and the tricycles, still trying to rule the street. and the best...or worst...part of it all, my room is the only room in the house which is beside the street to experience all these.

what's in a word?

2005-09-01T02:31:00.000+08:00

after two days of straight duty, i almost came home emptyhanded, with no pay from the hospital. and it's all because of my gullibility...or plainly, my stupidity.

at around midnight, one duty night, there was a man who brought in a woman with a posterior splint bandaged on her left leg. she was accidentally hit by his motorbike, while she was walking, and her foot, in turn, hit a big rock. the man told me he could have easily left the woman but his conscience wouldn't let him. plus, he was afraid his wife would beat him to death. i think this was the main reason he didn't run away.

after the surgeon explained to the man the procedure that was going to be done to the patient and an estimate of the cost it would take, he decided to transfer the patient to a government hospital. so, the bill was prepared and i did a referral letter to the hospital of their choice. when everything was ready, we realized the man left! the woman's companion informed us that the man left to withdraw money from the ATM. at the back of our minds, there was a big possibility that the man wasn't coming back. i gave him an hour and if he didn't come back, we're calling the authorities. after more than an hour, he came back, emptyhanded. he said all ATM machines in the area weren't working.

he asked if he could just return the next day to pay for the ER bill. he looked so desperate and i took pity on him. and more importantly, i thought, the patient had to be transferred at once. period. so i told him to write a promisory note and leave his address with us, without checking first with the hospital director or from the higher-ups.

the next day, i told my sister about what happened. she had big doubts about the man coming back to pay the bill. oh no, if he didn't come back, i would be forced to shoulder the bill coz i let him go without him leaving an ID or his driver's license, just his word!

nowadays, a word or a promise doesn't mean much anymore. and yet, when this man pleaded with me and promised he'd be back, i believed him. was i gullible? yes. was i stupid? yes. but i had faith in him. i somehow knew he would be true to his word. i may have started to doubt him a little when he didn't show up by lunchtime, but i was still hopeful he would be back.

i desperately wanted to believe this man was different from the others who would take advantage of stupid people like me. and he didn't fail me. he came a little after 3 in the afternoon, a few pesos short because that was all the money he had, but it didn't matter. what mattered was he was true to his word.